Vitabismaximus
by Captain Holly Short of the LEP
Summary: The Vitabismaximus, the ultimate weapon to lengthen one's life. But what if it does the exact opposite?


**Vitabismaximus**

**

* * *

**

**Author's Note: Vitabismaximus is taken from the Latin words: 'Vita' meaning 'life' and 'Maximus' meaning 'biggest'. If you read the story, you will discover why i called it that. **

**

* * *

**

"And this, Butler," said the young genius. "Is the new Vitabismaximus or the 'Life Extending Machine' with the press of a button, my life could be extended to that of a fairy's." Butler smiled nervously.

"Don't you think you should have asked Foaly first before you took it?" he asked. "It may not have been tested fully yet." Artemis smirked and patted his bodyguard on the arm.

"I'm only borrowing it, besides what could possibly go wrong?" he asked, pointing the gun-like tool at himself and firing. Nothing happened for several seconds, then Artemis collapsed on the floor.  
"That," Butler said to himself, hauling his charge onto the bed.

Meanwhile, somewhere deep inside the earth, Holly had just got an urgent message from Foaly telling her to go straight to his booth. She had got there in record time, and was standing next to the centaur, trying to help him solve the case of the missing Vitabismaximus when the email from Butler had arrived.

"Artemis is unconscious, send Holly up right away along with the information on the life extension gun."

"So that's where it went," Foaly said, frustrated. "I told him to stop taking my equipment and look where that's got him?" Holly was almost screaming with impatience.

"Hello?" she said. "One of my best friends is dying." Foaly looked at her sympathetically.

"I'll tell the commander that you're doing the ritual," he said. "Go up now, I'll keep a window open so I can talk you through what you need to do."  
"It's not like Butler's healing in London, is it?" Holly asked. Foaly shrugged.

"Perhaps," he said. "Depending on how far gone he is." Holly almost screamed.

"Now I'm worried," she admitted. "Tell me what's wrong with him!" Foaly shook his head.

"I'll tell you when you're there," he said.

And that's how Holly ended up, sitting next to Artemis's bed, trying to waken him.

"Come on," she said, giving Artemis another boost of magic. "Wakey wakey." Butler was standing next to her, trying to decipher Foaly's instructions.

"So I need to shoot him again?" he asked. Foaly shook his head wildly.

"No," he replied. "You need to fire the Vitabismaximus into his heart." Butler rolled his eyes.

"So I have to shoot him again." He grabbed the gun, aimed and fired. Nothing happened for several seconds then a timer appeared on Artemis's shirt, directly above the heart. Three green digits, a one and two zeros. 100 seconds. And they were ticking down.  
Just on cue, Artemis awoke.  
"What happened," he asked. Foaly shrugged.

"Oh there's a timer on your chest ticking down to when you're going to die." Artemis grinned.

"It worked," he said. "How long do I have?"

"Ninety seconds." Artemis's grin faded, his face going a deathly pale.

"I have ninety seconds left of my life?" he asked. Holly nodded, her eyes filled with tears.

"80," Foaly corrected. Artemis coughed, the air in his lungs shortening out.

"Well," he said, breathing in short gasps. "I've had a great life thanks to all of you, you'll find my will in the locked case in my top draw, the key is around my neck." Holly nodded, tears streaming down her cheeks. Thirty seconds to go and her best friend would be dead. "Holly," the boy said. "Remember me not as your kidnapper, but as your friend. Holly I know what you told me back in time, but I couldn't let it go. I will always love you." Ten seconds to go.

"Be well," Holly said, laying her hand on his forehead. Artemis forced a smile.

"In the worlds of Julius Caesar, 'E tu Brute."

Artemis Fowl closed his eyes as the timer counted down his final seconds. Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Zero. Holly collapsed on top of Artemis who was lying perfectly still. This wasn't how it was supposed to end. They were meant to die together, against some crazy lunatic like they should have many times.  
Meanwhile, Butler was staring forlornly at his charge's body. He turned around to look at Foaly.

"Couldn't you have done something?" he asked. Foaly shook his head.

"I tried everything, Mate," he said. Butler turned back to look at Artemis and saw the boy open one eye, completely confused.

"Uh, Holly," Butler said. Holly continued to cry on Artemis's chest. Foaly grinned.

"Holly?" he asked. Holly's sobs grew louder.

"HOLLY!" they both yelled at the same time. Holly jerked her head upwards to look at them.

"Yes?" Foaly gestured at Artemis, who was now completely alive. Holly turned her head to look. Artemis smiled sheepishly and waved up at her. Holly's mouth dropped open in shock. "But...You...gun..." she started, and then gave him a rib crushing hug. "Don't you ever do anything like that to me again," she said. Artemis shrugged.

"I'll try not to," he said. Holly's eyes narrowed.

"What you said before," she started. "Is that true?" Artemis nodded.

"Of course," he said. "I though I was a goner." Her eyes softened.

"Then I love you too," she said, then kissed him passionately. Artemis's eyes widened, but he kissed back, ignoring Foaly and Butler who were both rolling their eyes at the cheesiness of their conversation. Finally they broke apart, Artemis with a silly grin on his face.

"So it didn't work?" he finally asked Foaly.

"No, it worked fine," he said. "That was just the count down to the life lengthened starting; you have a lot longer to live now." Holly snapped her head round to look at the screen.

"So you knew all along?" she asked through clenched teeth.

"Yeah," replied Foaly, with a grin. "I did." Holly growled under her breath.

"You just wait 'til I get down there..." she said. Foaly quickly terminated the link. He needed to hide far away before Holly came back down. Butler sighed, he was just glad that Artemis had lived. He nodded at his charge and left the room, Holly and Artemis were now alone.

"Sorry about Foaly," Holly said, rolling her eyes. "I'll get him for that later."

"I don't doubt it," Artemis said, cringing. He wondered what would happen if Holly found out that Artemis had known all along and it was part of his plan to get them together. He shivered and gave Holly a hug, what she didn't know about him would fill a bookcase.

_Now for phase two_, he thought. _Time to get myself some magic.

* * *

**The End**_


End file.
